What are friends for?

By Erik Dolson

“Daddy!”

Donnie Boastful was at his desk in the Oval Office trying to solve the Tik Tok Toe game in the “Washington Times.” Normally he wouldn’t tolerate an interruption, but it was Ivanka, and, well …

“What can I do for you, you gloriously amazing most wonderful human (from my loins) who ever graced this planet earth in the history of time?”

“Daddy, they say I should give back my China trademarks that I got after our wonderful trip there last summer! Because that bad Biden boy had to quit his job … Read more…

A new political party

By Erik Dolson

My friend The Editor said yesterday that he is not represented by either major political party. Mountain man in style yet utterly modern, educated in history, a gun-toting liberal (though he’d deny that liberal tag), his values are timeless and he has no place to turn.

Me either. America needs a new political party, so I’m going to start one. It’s important to understand that I’m completely unqualified for this effort, and that this shortcoming has never stopped me before.

A party needs a platform, which is something to stand on, or stand … Read more…

Can you hear me?

John Scherer: (Erik,) I’m sure you have better things to do than troll my posts!? If you do, offer up some factual debate for your Party’s waste of taxpayer money.

Erik Dolson: Yes, John, I do. I don’t know why your posts ended up on my feed, I assume Facebook thought it was important. But the whack jobs at “SonsofLibertyMedia.com” (that you reference) took my breath away, and made me realize that the difference in our view points was far wider than I had assumed.

To begin with, the anger is palpable. … Read more…

The leash

By Erik Dolson

“Mr. President, may I have a minute of your time?”

“Billy Barr! You can have more than a minute any time, Billy. Come on in, you know how to approach my desk, right? Have I told you what a great job you’re doing?”

“Thank you Mr. President, I’m just doing my job.”

“And you’re doing it greatly! That’s what I just said! You spun Meuller Mutt until he corkscrewed into the ground, you’re investigating England and Italy for traitors who said the Russians helped me win the election, when everybody KNOWS it was my own stable genius … Read more…

The People He Trusts

By Erik Dolson

“The only people you can trust are those looking after their own interests,” Donnie Boastful thought as he looked for his tanning goggles. He wasn’t lonely, just without without friends. Even suckup Roger the Rock was reluctant to pick up the phone since he was on trial.

“Where’s my Roy Cohn?” Donnie wondered, as he often did.
He thought about calling Rudy the Rat, who had become something of a pet. But Rudy was spending so much time on TV contradicting himself that even Donnie couldn’t tell where he stood.

“By you,” Rudy told him when … Read more…

Did Boeing eliminate sensor for profit?

By Erik Dolson

Last week it was reported that versions of the MCAS software on planes sold by Boeing to the military were required to have three angle of attack sensors installed. Planes sold by Boeing’s competitor, Airbus, also have three angle of attack sensors. Three sensors are designed to compensate if one should be damaged.

Two civilian Boeing planes that crashed earlier this year, killing 346 people, had only one angle of attack sensor with similar software. It is believed that faulty sensors indicated the planes were approaching a nose up stall, and triggered software that … Read more…

The Boss

By Erik Dolson

“Boss!”
“Not now, Rat,” said Donnie Boastful. He was packing his briefcase with new golf balls to take to his course in Florida. Or New Jersey. He couldn’t remember.
“Do you have to call me that?” Rudy the Rat sighed.
“Nope,” Donnie Boastful said with a smirk. “But I like to. So I will. I’m president. I can do what I want.”
“You got that right, Boss,” said R the R. “But I got something else that you want.”
“Oh yeah?” Donnie was distracted choosing between a pink golf shirt or one … Read more…

Boeing may be screwed

By Erik Dolson

Airplane manufacturer Boeing announced earlier this month that a safety committee had been formed on the board of directors after two crashes of the company’s 737 Max aircraft took 346 lives.

A safety committee! On the board! Thank god. Shareholders and passengers alike can fly much relieved.

I’d like to add a couple of other suggestions, distilled after talking to current and former Boeing employees over the last few months.

First, fire CEO and board chair Dennis Mullenburg. These tragedies occurred on his watch, and he lost all credibility while repeating the … Read more…

My fellow (Republican) Americans

I’d like to address the 18 percent of Republicans who now support impeachment of Donald Trump for high crimes and misdemeanors.

Thank you. For your courage, for your allegiance to America over a would-be tyrant, for believing that no man is above the law, thank you.

There are many places where you and I agree about policy. I’m no more a rabid liberal than you are a rabid Republican. One of the first things we can agree on is a recognition that the other loves this country. You have shown this to me, and I hope to show you as … Read more…

Rudy the Rat on “official business”

By Erik Dolson

So, Donnie Boastful tells Ukraine on the phone that it needs to play ball if it wants weapons to defend itself against further Russian aggression. Maybe he’s telling his Russian friends that now would be a good time to throw a little scare into Ukraine, ya know, just to soften them up a little.

The goodfellahs in Donnie Boastful’s not-quite-as-White-House scramble to bury the transcript of that phone call because it smells like a dead fish, it’s got high crimes and misdemeanors spread over it like rancid mayo‘d tuna oozed out from an overstuffed “All About Me” … Read more…